I'm not sleeping. I tried: closed my eyes, rested my head on my favourite feather pillow...but then the fear came. The thoughts that I supress crowded in: how are we going to pay the rent; when will I find work; when will the animator find work; how ARE we going to pay the rent? Then the adrenaline started pumping and I got the urge to run. I tried breathing into the fear. I tried positive visualisation. Now, it is late and my eyes are heavy, dry from staring at the screen - will I be able to sleep?