[Friday night] TA: "It's later than you think, it's bedtime. Not that I think you need me to tell you when to go to bed, you're an adult."
Me: "Hmm...[strange mental leap] I'm not as mature as you think. You'd be surprised how old I was when I last wet the bed, not that it was me that did it. I took my doll, Tiny Tears, to bed with me fully loaded when I wasn't supposed to and then I squeezed her. I thought I'd get in less trouble if I said it was me."
TA: *chuckles...* "Fully loaded!"
[Saturday morning] Me: "That man we just walked past had one of those funny spanner things swinging on his belt. You know those spanners that have a hexagon shape and you slide them over the nut thing you're trying to unscrew. Anyway, it was hanging down between his legs and swinging, handle down - I swear it looked like some kind of strange prosthetic penis. Did you see him?"
Me: "He caught me staring at him and looked cross because I was laughing at him. What are those funny spanners called?"
TA: "A nut wrench."
Me: [gales of laughter] "A nut wrench!"