Wednesday, June 23, 2004

time out
TA and I have been/are being very socialable at the moment - dinners, drinks, parties. Being social is great and it's wonderful to see people - especially after several months of avoiding all social events. However...
There are just not enough hours in the day. I want to be doing other things as well, perhaps selfish things. I'm a deeply solitary kind of person - I like reading, writing, thinking and staring at the occasional wall (just having the odd empty hour doing nothing but thinking about life, the universe and everything - I call it staring at walls).

  • I like writing here and in my journal I like writing letters.

  • I want to join a gym. This is a new development for me, I've never been into fitness and maybe I'm kidding myself but I really want to work out (a class followed by a sauna, swim and shower sounds good) before going to work or even at lunch time. I feel as though I need to match physical exertion to my current mental exertion.

  • And then there's the wider perspective on what I want to be doing with my life: having a small footprint on the earth, living responsibly, saving to build our house. I have made progress in several small areas - I'm growing herbs, buying organic - but I could do with making some real changes. I need to think carefully about how I can achieve this.
    I need less time out in a partying sense and more time out in a break-from-the-game sense. It's not going to happen this week - we're having a friend over tonight and going away for a 90th birthday party at the weekend - but it has to happen soon.

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