So I should tell you about Freddie my personal trainer. Our session was sort of successful... He asked me about my general levels of fitness, so I did. I have no balance, no coordination and I'm chronically unfit. He looked at me, smiled and said that he thought I was probably doing myself a disservice.
We started on the treadmill and - thinking that all treadmills were calibrated the same - I happily turned it up to warp speed 9 (as I had been jogging along quite confidently at this setting on another machine). All treadmills are not created equal and, consequently, I nearly fell off the thing as it propelled me at 4-minute mile pace.
Next came the sit ups. With a ball wedged between my knees and then transferred to my hands. Freddie had to support the weight of my legs - I'm that weak.
In the space of half an hour I also managed to fall over the step I was supposed to be bunny hopping.
We finished up with some boxing and I'm telling you I've got dinosaur arms - they are useless!
Finally, I'd like to apologise to the meme attack yesterday, don't quite know what came over me.