Wednesday, June 22, 2005

after and before
Even though this is not a diet blog, I suppose after stirring up a hornet's nest about dieting/body image I owe it to you to follow up. I’m just not sure how to shape the content (pun somewhat intended).
It’s been nearly four weeks since I decided to make changes. Today I am wearing my wedding underwear, a strapless corset and tiny smalls; obviously, I am also wearing clothes on top of this sumptuous underwear (a summer dress with spaghetti straps and a jacket, since you ask). Although I know that I'm slimmer – since my clothes fit and TA can see the difference – I don't actually feel any different and try as I might I can't really see the difference in the mirror either. Odd, don't you think? And while I feel on top of things I know that were I to get morose bad eating patterns would likely return. (Remind me one day to write properly about bulimia.)
How did I get here? Well, mostly it was easy, I could write out a diet sheet but that isn’t really important, what is important is that my mindset changed. Changed literally overnight as I sweated out a few too many glasses of wine and reassessed body, diet, work, writing and my relationships. But now I have the other mountains still to climb – job change, investing in my creative life, paying attention to my friends and loved ones – and I must confess I find myself tired at the thought of all the energy and commitment this will take, even though these changes will benefit me.

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