Tuesday, July 19, 2005

it was all a dream
In the early hours of this morning, perhaps a short time before the sun rose, I had the most amazing dream. I dreamt that a man I work with – he’s the IT administrator, he’s a Glaswegian and a Sikh, a family man; I have no idea whether that has any bearing on the meaning of the dream – told me that I was out of balance. He then proceeded to rebalance me, it was an intimate and sensual experience and for me deeply erotic, although in the dream I knew that he was merely putting right an inbalance – his actions were not sexually motivated. He carefully oiled and manipulated my body to free trapped energy, there was talk of awaking my chakras and suddenly my chakras were awake – the burningly fierce heat spread right up my spinal column. The rebalancing process ended with him freeing trapped energy in my neck, oiling my hair and coiling it within a carefully wrapped turban. There was the knowledge that I had to protect my energies from external influence. I woke up briefly and marvelled at what an amazingly powerful feeling of bliss the dream had filled me with.
I need bliss and balance right now as another dream comes to a difficult end. TA and Housemate J spent hours talking last night. The reason the five of us are living at Palais Badger is that it was their dream that we could be one big, happy family, but now they both recognise that reality has intruded and it’s time to wake up. So, TA and I will be moving again soon, in September. It’d be easy to say that it’s not worked because J&D have broken up (can I make my JD on the rocks joke here?), but I think that this is just a catalyst for disbanding. Even if they were still together relationship break ups are hard enough without adding in extra guilt.
I wrote the above on Friday.
Today, things have moved on. I viewed a flat on Monday that I think might just be the Badger Sett we are aspiring to own. TA is going to view it tonight. I told Housemate J that we would be looking for somewhere but that we might not get everything sorted in time for the September deadline and if we don’t would they please cut us some slack – and this made her cry. Oh dear, I’m not very good at dealing with the thesps. Also, it appears that J&D are no longer on the rocks, but that D will still be moving out – at least temporarily – unless, that is, J gets the tour she’s been auditioning for, in which case he’ll stay and she’ll be away touring. I’m finding it hard to keep up.
Job search has been put on hold until home life has settled (sett-led?) down.
In other news, I have decided to put all diet/body image/eating disorder nubbins on a different site. If that posts on those subjects smoke your kippers then click here.

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