Wednesday, July 06, 2005

jesse's blog posts
Do you remember that character from the Fast Show that would come out of his shed and pronounce "this week I 'ave been mostly..." one series it was Jesse's fashions and another series it was Jesse's diets. Well, that's a bit like my thought processes at the moment and, consquently, my blog posts. Sorry about that.
It's worrying though - I don't think of myself as the girly diet and fashion type, but perhaps I've been in denial. I'm certainly revelling in all my new clothes and want to shop even more now! Shoes goddamit, I want lovely shoes and boots! I'm also enjoying the healthy eating, strange to say. When I say to people that I'm avoiding tea, coffee and chocolate (not to mention crisps, special K bars and all the other faux-healthy crap in the machine) they smile and say "ah! detoxing?" I say, truthfully, no - but they don't seem to believe me. I did have a coffee last night and thoroughly enjoyed it, but I'm not planning to ever go back to those dark three-to-four-cups-a-day days. I would say 'never again', but I've learnt from sad experience that despite the very best intentions that I can't trust myself to keep restrictive resolutions.
Which brings us right back to badger's fashions. I'm not throwing away clothes this time. Old baggy trousers will remain in the back of the wardrobe just in case I need them after my all-expenses-paid trip to the US. It's pathetic that I can't trust myself that far isn't it?
There are other things going on - the job hunt is continuing slowly, TA is plugging away at the beastly low-paid job, I am slowly warming to Housemate M - as long as she doesn't sing, life is on a relatively even keel (despite piscine death and relationship angst in the house). In fact, maybe it's the lack of crises that are allowing me to be so completely self-absorbed.
I do have a new office mate and am, as a result, enjoying work a bit more. L is a writer and seems to have her finger on Heat-style gossip, she's a lot of fun. The other reason I've been enjoying work is that, quite simply, I've had work to do. It has occured to me that I'm only really motivated by deadlines. As soon as the deadlines stop, my inclination to work just fades away.

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