Wednesday, October 19, 2005

odds, sods, and housemates
Just to recap for those of you who have been asleep at the back, the Palais is currently home to:

  • me, your gracious hostess and token English person
  • TA, my long-suffering husband, love of my life, light of my heart, the only Australian I'm actually happy to live with
  • Housemate J, otherwise known as sister in law (SiL) or TA's sister - an all-singing, all-acting future star of the West End. Other distinguishing features include an interest in aromatherapy and counselling. Currently dating someone after ditching ex-Housemate D (a two-timing, odious, cretin who is currently starring in Woman in White, possibly the worst of Andrew Lloyd Webber's many assults on the reputation of musical theatre).
  • Housemate M, occasionally called Bonnie Langford or the ginger one - an all-warbling, all-dancing whirling dervish, multiple-audition-failing former chorus girl from the Southern Hemisphere.
  • Temp Housemate, also known as Suddenly-and-with-no-Warning-Perm Housemate, a rough-and-ready (with the emphasis on the rough) Aussie lass who works with, from what I can gather, mad people and is dating a commercial pilot. A side note, it was she who unleashed the plague of fruit flies.
  • The Palais has three double bedrooms and Housemate M, whose replacement is Temp Housemate, seems to be shuttling between J's room and Temp's room (which itself was formally M's) depending on which of them has a boy staying. Are you getting dizzy yet? And have you noticed something odd? How is it that M and her "replacement" are in residence at the same time? Indeed, that very thing has been puzzling me.
    All of Housemate M's worldly goods were packed into enormous plastic shoppers (the stripy ones you find at pound shops - dollar stores to you yanks) at the weekend. These shoppers were left in the hall, by the front door, in the living room... Woo! I thought, Housemate M - bane of my existence, most annoying of the annoying - is finally going to leave the premises and perhaps we'll have some peace. BUT NO, she's still here and so are the shoppers! Every morning hope returns - perhaps today is the day she'll depart for her new home (since the lease was signed days ago), but every evening the heart sinks like a discarded trolley in a stagnant waterway as my eyes spy the malingering bags.
    All of which makes me even more eager to assume the soubriquet home-owner as soon as is humanly (and legally) possible. Housemate J keeps sending TA text messages asking "when are you leaving?", how's that for sisterly love? We have another five weeks left of our notice period, but it seems J wants us out sooner. Meanwhile, the completion of the legal niceties for our purchase of the Sett are gathering pace, but seeing as we started at snail's pace that isn't saying all that much. Will we meet our deadline or be homeless for a few weeks, who knows?

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