Tuesday, July 04, 2006

This is going to be a bit all over the shop because I'm thinking my feelings through as I type. I'm feeling a bit widowed at the moment. TA goes through cycles and at the moment he's on a online computer game frenzy. It's been like this for a month or so and at first I tried to get involved, but in the end I felt as though my time was being wasted even though he said at one point that he liked me there with him. Recently, I've been spending my widow hours writing my journal, keeping the flat immaculate and thinking (sometimes thinking takes me a while). I have plans for spending some more widow hours visiting Tate Modern to admire the recent rehang, working on a story and writing letters to friends. I'm enjoying my widow hours, but I still wish that there were things we could do together that would be compelling enough for TA not to resent being pulled away from the computer.
We've been invited to go for a long walk and a picnic on Saturday - a ramble, if you will - but TA doesn't want to come. I'm fine going by myself, but sort of wish that he wanted to join in. (His reluctance is not necessarily due to a desire to play Neverwinter Nights, but still.) And then there's the game testing that we do every Wednesday - I value it because it's a hobby we do together and it's often fun...but it's not exactly how I would choose to spend an evening. In fact I've been enjoying my widow hours so much that I'm beginning to see the attraction of an uninterrupted widow evening.
So I guess what I'm saying is individual hobbies are all well and good but I'd like to have a joint hobby that isn't me just tagging along with TA while he does his hobby. The trouble is we're chalk and cheese: don't like the same books, films, music, sports...
Does anyone else have problems like these?

No comments: