Monday, July 16, 2007

back in the saddle, sorta
Do you remember back in the day when I was all fired up about making massive life changes? Quitting my job, moving to Wales, building an earthship, breeding chickens and practising permaculture... I had big dreams. Somehow they shrivelled, didn’t they? Money worries. Practicalities. Other aspects of my personality. The necessity of compromise to maintain a happy and successful marriage. Fear of failure.
The dreams are back, which means that the frustration is edging in too. I’m writing, I’m quilting, growing a little person and nesting, but where is the garden? Where is the rural bliss? Now is the summer of my discontent: work is quiet and I have little else to think of. Oh, and those money worries, the crippling weight of responsibilities and all the other doubts and fears? They’re still with me in spades too. No wonder I’m feeling tired, trapped and resentful.
In other news, I’ve given TA the gift of my cold/fever. At least I think he might have got his illness from me, my only puzzlement is how it went from a nasty cold to plague in one transmission, particularly since he has only the cold to contend with (no anaemia, pregnancy, iron tablets or sickness).

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